LLT: Intending to Judge On Intent

I was mad at her. My high school girlfriend and I were in a fight, because she'd lost my keys when I'd let her borrow my truck (wow, I had a truck in high school, a 1984 Nissan 4x4, in bright copper, racing stripes, and a roll bar -- I was a working boy and all that, but how embarrassing to remember that vehicle!) to take her friend home during half time of a football game. We finally found them in the parking lot next to the truck but I was mad. So I took her home and dropped her off and with nary a word said between us. She got out and looked back at me with a quick glance out of the side of her eyes, and I knew she was both hurt and rightly resentful about my anger. And I felt guilty about that, but I didn't want to admit that I knew I was wrong (see last week's LLT for more on that topic), and so I just pretended to remain mad as I let off on the clutch and pulled out of her gravel driveway.

So I got home and it was late, but I was hungry and my mom was up reading one of her silly real-life murder drama books that she'd sneak in on occassion back then. (I wonder if she still does.) I poured myself a big ol' glass of 2% milk and grabbed the Oreos and throw myself stiffly down across from her on the couch.

I was wearing my anger on my forehead like coalminer's light, and my mom says, "Cody, what in heaven's name is wrong?"

"Mom, she lost my keys and we had to spend like a half hour looking for them."

"Cody, never lose sight of the importance of intent."

As my mind raced as my eyes stared as my ears heard the episode of Cheers in which Diane and Sam kiss for the first time, I understood what my mom meant.

And later as I went to Blinn JuCo and the tragedies of explicit and implicit racism were blasted at me daily, I'd remember my mom's words about intent. Not that it applies in this day in which nobody in America thinks it's okay to be racist, but back in 1996, I know I met a lot of older people in that city who simply didn't seem to notice their implicit racism, and I'd remember that my mom would tell me not to be too harsh because they didn't intend to be so.

And today when I hear liberal/socialist views that I don't understand, I'll remember my mom's words that I should remember the importance of intent, in that most people who hold those views truly believe that such a system is somehow the best for our health care/roads/postal service etc. I hope they know that the reason I want free market systems is at least partly because my intent is the same -- that I truly want a system that is the best for everyone.

And in the day to day life, this life lesson is especially important in our interactions with our loved ones. We need to remember that our parents' intentions are almost always wanting the best for us. And remember that our lovers usually do too. And moveover our friends almost always want the best for us too.

And that's today's Life Lesson Thursday.