LLT: Breaking The Cycle

Administrator's Note: Cody is thrilled to have launched his trading blog today at RealMoney.com - which has already been a lot of fun. Cody's in upstate NY until Sunday, when he'll be back full speed as always.

Thanks to all of you who submitted your Life Lesson Thursday last week - keep 'em coming! And a special thanks to The CodyBlog.com reader who sent us this great LLT:

As I drove away from our apartment, I knew I was breaking away from one of the worst times in my life...an abusive relationship. It wasn't a physically abusive one, but it was an emotionally abusive situation. How did this happen to me? I always thought of myself as a strong, independent woman who would never allow a man to treat her with so much disrespect. I didn’t grow up in an abusive household. In fact, my parents barely raised their voices. Nevertheless, it happened.

I wasn’t sure what his reaction would be (I can admit now that I stayed in this relationship longer than I should have because I became increasingly afraid for my physical safety knowing that I’d upset him once I said I was leaving), but I knew I had to break away from my state of unhappiness. I decided that going home to my family on Christmas would be the day (which, by the way, fell on a Thursday that year). I didn't worry about my stuff in our apartment...I was willing to give up those belongings.

However, leaving my boyfriend was only part of my "breaking the cycle." The real cycle I realized that I needed to break was my habit of choosing the wrong people to engage in relationships with. So, I made a pact with myself that I would take a year off of dating, focus on my self-image (which was at an all-time low), and reconnect with the most important people in my life (family and friends).

And, I stayed true to my resolution (no dates at all for a year), which was one of the best decisions I've ever made. About nine months after my year off, the personal strength I gained during that time also helped me break another cycle in my life–—leaving the safety of a job that I had done for over ten years, but had turned into a situation that I no longer enjoyed going to everyday. Although my future from a love/career standpoint is still uncertain, I now know better than ever (1) who I am, (2) what I will and won’t do for love or a job, and (3) if I find myself in an unhappy situation again, I have the strength to leave it.

So, my LLT: Break the cycle...whether it's a bad relationship OR something else that you are unhappy about in your life. You have the choice. While it sometimes seems easier to stay in an unhappy situation than leave it because there is fear of the unknown, I can say from experience that the unknown is a much better place.